The Fear of Metastasis After Breast Cancer Diagnosis

When your diagnosed with breast cancer or any type of cancer. The fear that it could  spread to other parts of the body are all so real. During my breast cancer journey, I never heard a Doctor tell me you are in remission or cancer free. My initial diagnosis was stage 2 invasive ductal carcinoma. It spread to my lymph nodes. It only takes one cancer cell to travel to another location of the body. I did ask my Oncologist for a PET scan ( a imaging test that uses radioactive substance to look for disease in the body) I was told that because of my age and diagnosis, it could lead to unnecessary invasive procedures. If hind sight was 20/20, I would have got a second opinion. Doctors do the best they can, with use of statistics and new studies. I feel that everyone doesn't fit a particular mold. As a patient you have to be proactive and your own advocate!
 After I had my mastectomy, January 2015. I received my pathology report. I have Invasive ductal carcinoma HER2 positive. I also had another tumor growing in the left breast, were I had the previous  lumpectomy in 2011. I had 18 lymph nodes removed on the right side , 9 of them were cancerous! I was in total shock....
My new Oncologist ordered a PET scan on February 14, 2015. I had to limit my diet to protein and no carbohydrates for 48 hours prior to the test. I was so unbelievably hungry. The following week, I  received the most devastating news, that I had possible metastasis to my right 10th rib, left 12th rib and ilium. Being diagnosed with cancer is scary enough. It was my worst fear... The next week, I was scheduled for a bone scan (imaging that finds damage to the bone) to further evaluate these areas. The results are consistent with the PET scan, the right rib had the most cancerous characteristics. I still needed to have a bone biopsy to confirm the diagnosis of metastatic breast cancer. It wouldn't be considered bone cancer, because it had originated from the breast cancer.
On March 19, 2015, I had my CT scan guided bone biopsy. They use the CT scan to pinpoint the exact location of the lesion on the bone to obtain a sample. I was awake during the procedure, just a mild sedative, pain medication and local anesthesia. I had to lay on my stomach stomach, which was difficult because of my hard and plastic Barbie breast. In order for the Doctor to access the iliac through the lateral left buttock. It was slightly painful, with the initial needle poke of local anesthetic. I mostly felt pressure and very little pain. The procedure took about an hour. I had quite a bit of pain and a slight limp for a couple of days.  A week later, I received the best news ever... Negative for cancer!!! All I could say was thank you Jesus! It felt like a ton of bricks had been lifted off my shoulders. Within the next week my Doctor will order another biopsy, this time my right rib. I rather have an additional invasive test, than to wonder if there is cancer in that region. A peace of mind is all I can ask for, in the midst of uncertainty! I will update the results in a later post.

Recovery From My Mastectomy

My recovery proved to be the most challenging. I went home with four drains, bandages and a compression bra. I felt like a helpless infant. My chest was both tender and numb. I needed help sitting up and getting out if bed. I couldn't raise my arms above my armpits. My Husband had to help me up using my shoulders. I had a difficult time adjusting to doing next to nothing. I know some days I had roots planted in my mattress. I could only sleep on my back. I am such a multi-tasker what Mom, Wife isn't. I missed doing simple things. All I did was sleep and eat, that comes with the healing process. In the beginning I was in so much pain! I was so thankful for my home care Nurse. Being a Nurse myself, it was nice to be the patient and be able to let go. I had to empty my drains a couple of times a day and log the amounts. I had a special mastectomy bra, which had cute little pouches to hold the drains. I felt like I had a utility belt on! I only left the house for appointments. Since I couldn't raise my arms up, any item of clothing I could zip or button I wore them out. After a couple of weeks, I was able to get the drains out.

 I was a little apprehensive about looking at my chest. I did some major research before and spoke with women that had the same surgery. When I looked at my chest for the first time... I cried! This is not my body... but a new beginning. I no longer have the breasts I was used to. They had to go, they were trying to kill me... metaphorically speaking! I had weekly appointments with my Plastic Surgeon to fill my tissue expanders/ temporary breasts. It was painful, because they are stretching my chest muscles/skin. It's like having a constant muscle spasm for a few days! I would continue this process for about five weeks. Once I reached the desired size to accommodate my new silicon breasts. Now I really look like a Barbie... hard, plastic feeling and no nipples! Unfortunately, I have to wait until after chemotherapy is completed to have the implants placed. I am counting the days. I started physical therapy twice a week, about 8 weeks post-op.  I have made so much progress. I could actually rasie my arms to my shoulders!

 I am so blessed and thankful for my Husband who is my rock and my Mother who basically moved in to help me during the most difficult time of my life. I love you all to the moon and back!  I have some amazing family and friends in my life! I was so thankful for Mary H. who organized a send them a meal program. Everyday for  over a month I received full course meals delivered to my home made with love from co-workers and friends! Something so simple meant the world to me! The numerous prayers, cards, phone calls, thoughtful text messages , flowers, balloons and makeup gifts! Brought me so much gratitude! The power of prayer, faith and a positive attitude... is what got me this far. Don't get me wrong! I have those ugly cry days, but it's healthy.